Babs wasn't happy, though. She didn't want me in her bed for sex, but she did like to cuddle up to me. This led to me staying out of her bed even more, to punish her for her treatment of me. She wouldn't give me what I needed, so why should I give in to her? We both began to sulk, to nag each other, and the marriage became cold.I like chatting on the internet, finding out the many different ways people think and behave. And my new sleep pattern gave me a lot of spare online time. Some of it I spent reading porn stories. We take our release where we can... Now and again I meet someone online who becomes a good friend. One of those people, Mary from Canada, did me a huge favour, by showing me what was wrong with my marriage. We started swapping mails at the end of 2003. I'm not sure what made me dump all my problems on to her. Certainly I had no thoughts that she could give me any answers - I'd given up believing that they existed. It was just good to be able to talk it through with. I’ve seen her from time to time over the years and we always waved, but this was the first time we chatted. She seems a pleasant old dear. She wondered why we’d never had a chit-chat before and I suggested it was because, when I worked, I was away from home most days. I’ve promised to spend time with her.March 28thDid a stupid thing today. I can only hope Mrs Willis doesn’t gossip with anyone in the street. As I begin to scrawl down the details I’m shaking with shame as I relive the event.Martha - Mrs Willis - invited me around for tea at four. Her semi is identical to my own, large rooms with high ceilings. The lounge is dominated by the original fireplace, an ugly monstrosity painted stove black. The room is chock-full with antique furniture and knick-knacks, the walls cluttered with sepia and black and white photographs of her and her family, many in their original mono and others tinted. On every flat surface where there’s space, are plants of all sizes housed in a multitude of.
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